Thursday, June 26, 2008

XD

XD (scientific name Xenon Mono-Dysprosium), is the common name for the main component of the biological process of happiness or amusement, commonly associated with laughter. Naturally occuring in nearly all human bodies, it has since been found to exist in several organisms and inanimate objects.

Chemical Properties

XD is made up of the elements Xenon (Xe) and Dyprosium (Dy), in the ratio of 1:1, although the scientific community often abids by th notation of :D as it is widely accepted that all Xenon-based compounds (such as potato chips and puppies) can only contain on Xenon atom per molcule, due to reasons pertaining to nuclear decay and religion.

Although Xenon is an inert gas, its bond with the rare element Dyprosium allows XD to be highly reactive, leading to the onset of various emotions, as previously mentioned.

Similar compounds have also been discovered and notated, though they are much rarer.

Carbon-Based: C: or (:
Phosphorus-Based: :p

Conversely, compounds which lead to an opposite reaction as XD also exist.

Sadness: Carbon-Based: :C or :(
Confusion: Sulphur-Based: :S
Shock: Oxygen-Based: :O

History & Mentions/Uses


The compound XD was originally discovered by American Chris Gardner, a Nobel Prize-winning scientist and ballet instructor. This was later documented in the action-comedy The Pursuit of Happyness, a film revolving around Gardner's quest to obtain the substance.

The general public have also been informed of the qualities and properties of the compound, and reference to XD can often be observed in the communication styles of the youth of today, where a mere mention of the compound will indicate any positive feeling.

Example:

Mike: Hi, did you see that guy fall down the escalator?
Bob: Yes! XD
Mike: XD

Controversy

Recent studies conducted by Absolute Facts have strongly indicated that XD may actually be harmful to those whose bodies produce too much of it, leading to intnse levels of hyperactivity. Long-term studis have shown that subjects (typically senior citizens) injected with XD are not able to survive longer than 30 years from the point of injection, although this figure increases slightly as younger subjects are used. In contrast, subjects defined as having low levels of XD ("Goth" or "emo" adolescents), are seen to outlive the others in almost every case.

Example:

Subject 1 - Male, 17 years of age, defined as "emo" and hnce with low levels of XD
Subject 2 - Male, 67 years of age, injected with XD

Both subjects were monitored closely for period of time, though Subject 2 inexpicably expired soon after the start of the study. Similar findings were observed in all cases in this matched-pairs design.

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