Malaysia

Malaysia is a country situated in South-East Asia, just North of historical neighbours and rivals Singapore, and South of Thailand and Nigeria.

History

Discovered in 1322 by British explorer Alan Shearer, Malaysia has existed somewhat peacefully, having escaped most of the major wars and skirmishes that have peppered the region. Originally named "Big Crowded Hazy Land" by Shearer, it was later renamed Malaysia after the language of Malay was officially adopted as the official tongue during the coup of 1843, carried out by Siti Nurhaliza.

Government - Past & Present

Prior to Nurhaliza's coup, the country functioned with a largely feudal system, similar to what was practised in ancient Japan. With each regional leader, or Tengku, reporting to a common emperor, whose identity was only known to a select few.

Since 1843, many forms of government have existed in Malaysia, often at once. While ministers and members of parliament are appointed (not elected), at least one Sultan also serves, suggesting a primitive monarchy of sorts.

Judicial System

Malaysia is unique in that in many instances, its police officers have total control over the judicial process. Many members of their police department have been known to hand out hefty fines (as much as RM$50) for a speeding offence on any of their major highways.

While many attribute this to bribery and corruption, Malaysian authorities point out that this reduces the strain on the over-worked legal department, which will then be more capable to deal with other, more pressing matters such as sodomy and religeous sacriledge.

Culture & Population

The population of Malaysia is at time of writing unknown, as many attempts to measure the number of people in the nation have failed miserably, either due to the lack of counting ability on the part of officials, or the reluctance of foreign experts to participate in any such study.

Malaysia is populated by people of many races, with the Malaysian authorities quick to harp about them being "truly Asia" as this might suggest. However, recent studies conducted by Absolute Facts have hinted that this might not be true as originally thought. Our findings, headed by leading Genetic Culinary Surveyor Dr. Tran, have shed light on the matter of Malaysian heritage in this day and age; that many "Malaysians" are not really human at all.

Like many other Asian countries, sport is enjoyed by much of the nation. As well as football, sepak takraw, goli and chap-teh, the extreme sport of Highway Robbery is also becoming increasingly popular among its people. This new sport is a blend of street-racing and mugging, often involving forced sexual assault, with high rewards.

Unfortunately, as Malaysia is the only country that both advocates this sport as well as not punishing its participants, many tourists and visitors are left bewildered when accidentally becoming involved in the events of Highway Robbery.

Economy

The official currency of Malaysia is the Malaysian Ringgit or "Ringgit Malaysia" in Malay, represented by RM$. As a currency, its value changes haphazardly, though it usually stays above the threshold that is frequented by the Indonesian Rupiah.

As a result, many from nearby countries choose to do grocery shopping in Malaysia, as products found there (such as cigarettes and DVD's) are quite often cheaper than what is found locally.

Attractions

The nation of Malaysia boasts many a splendid attraction, which, coupled with its blisteringly sub-oceanic economy, serves to invite many to visit its shores.

Sunway Lagoon: Originally built as a water theme-park, it has since evolved into the most popular destination for parched individuals. Once called "The Urban Oasis", it is the largest source of drinkable water in the whole country.

Kuala Lumpur: A city of mud (lumpur translates to mud from Malay to English), many wade into Kuala Lumpur, or KL, in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the famous mud igloos that are unique to the region.

Genting Highlands: The mountain range is the only place in the world where "mudboarding" (snowboarding on mud) is available on a regular basis.