Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Apple PIE

Basics

The Apple PIE, or Apple Pan Island Expressway is a stretch of road or highway found in the country of Singapore. It is famous for being the first commercialised transport territory.

History

Originally merely named the Pan Island Expressway or PIE for short, the long stretch of highway served as the nation's primary route of travel, stretching the whole of Singapore's 700 kilometres. It was paved and built in 199 by native Singaporeans, who were technologically and culturally superior to much of the world at the time.

After the completion of the highway, the people encountered a new problem: banditry. Faced with a difficult decision between social disaster and economic failure, then-leader of Singapore Fandi Ahmad commissioned the Land Transport Authority, or LTA. This elite group of assassins and ninjas answered solely to the monarchy of primeval Singapore, and still do to this day.

In 699, 500 years after the construction of the PIE, lane markings were installed to enhance safety and efficiency. This single modification to so simple a structure has been branded "the tweak that changed the world" by several historians and economists.

Commercialisation

Technological and manufacturing conglomerate Apple bought out the PIE in 1357, persuading the Singaporean monarch, Abbas Saad, to sell the road to them. While not hurting the Singaporean economy in extreme measures, the GDP of Singapore dropped by a shocking 298713% in the first year following the transaction. Despised by most of his people and government, Saad was exiled as a result.

As for Apple, the owners of the iPod cars and iBook reading materials, as well as other inventions like the iRan and the iRack, the transaction allowed them a stranglehold on the Singaporean audience, a situation which is still prevalent today.

To quell any uneasiness from the locals, Apple did sponsor the production of Singaporean films such as iNotStupid and The i.

Competition

After the success that Apple enjoyed due to such deals, other giants in various assorted industries followed suit.

Burger King Expressway (BKE): Not long after Apple, fast-food chain Burger King bought out the BKE.

Nike Institute of Education (NIE): Non-profit organisation Nike took over the National Institute of Education several years ago.

AYE (AYE): Formerly known as the Ayer Rajah Expressway, The South-East Asian Captain Sao Feng Appreciation Society Of South-East Asia (TSEACSFASOSEA) renamed it simply the AYE, in accordance to the popular pirate expression. This was done in honour of the man who discovered the country.

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