The Panda

Basics

The panda, sometimes called a panda bear or big black and white critter, is a mammal that is native to the regions of Japan and Oceania. While it is referred to as a "bear", it is not technically a bear. It is actually a member of the sauropod family. The panda was originally discovered by famed biologist William Shakespeare, and much of the information we know today can be creditted to Liam Lynch, acclaimed zoologist.

Behaviour & Anatomy

The panda is known as a ferocious killer, prone to expending large amounts of energy in maiming anything that has a shadow, regardless of its current level of satiation. It accomplishes this with ease as it is equipped with thousands of razor-sharp teeth that continually replace themselves when damaged or dislodged, similar to sharks and earthworms.

The panda is usually a nocturnal predator, and unlike many similar nocturnal hunters, it does not make use of keen low-light vision, but rather lures prey towards their gaping jaws via the use of their previously mentioned teeth which glow in the dark.

During the day, the panda attempts to locate and destroy bamboo, what used to be a fairly common plant in certain parts of Japan. Due to this habit, the vast bamboo forests of Hiroshima have been near obliterated, and many draw similarities between the barren sites of the now-ravaged forests and the sites of the accidents that led to the Japanese surrender at the end of World War 2.

As a result of their 24-hour activities of hunting and deforestation, many panda are noticeably lethargic at times, and dark rings under their eyes usually attest to this observation. Absolute Facts has found that an average man can, at times, outrun a panda when they are in this state.

Pandas in Entertainment

Perhaps the most recognisable image of a panda in the media is the one used as the globally acknowledged logo of the leading professional wrestling organisation the WWF. Established in 1961, the WWF has used the image of a black and white panda since its early years, with the colours signifying the equality amongst the multitude of races found within the company.

Science-fiction action animated comedy Bambi also had a panda as its main character, despite many believing at first it was either a deer or an octopus (an eight-legged cat). Other media texts with pandas in important roles include The Matrix (Iraqi political satire), Memoirs of a Geisha (Japanese samurai comedy), Sin City (Christian religious narrative) and South Park (Australian documentary).