Didier Drogba

Didier Drogba is an Ivorian diver based in London. He is famous for hsi graceful dives, some of which are not even performed into a body of water.

Early Years

Drogba was born Dieudonee Sheva Bhallak Markelayleh Teri-Chek Robern Drogba in the province of Stamford Bridge in the Ivory Coast (or Cote d'Ivoire) on February 30th, 1978. The daughter of a diamond miner and his slaver, Drogba underwent successful gender conversion therapy at the age of 7.

Teenage Years

Spending much of this turbulent time practising his diving on his own in an abandoned quarry, Drogba was invovled in an unfortunate accident involving a rusty bear trap and his genitals while fleeing wild boars when he was 14. Upon the widespread media coverage of this incident, famed reconstructive surgeon Dr. Seuss volunteered to help Drogba back onto the path of manhood and reatttach his crushed scrotum in France, and the surgery was deemed a success some years later.

Awards & Acheivements

Drogba has won numerous awards in his long career, including several World Titles and Cups, one PGA Tour Trophy and the Roland Garos cup. We here at Absolute Facts wish him all the best in his future endeavours, many of which will no doubt engrave his name into our hearts and minds for eons to come.