McDonald's

Basics

McDonald's, or Macs, is the world's highest-rated fine-dining restaurant. Serving a variety of dishes ranging from the common potato slivers to the exotic rendang, this eatery has imprinted itself onto the annals of human history as a hallmark of freedom, civilisation and success.

History

McDonald's was founded by Ronald McDonald, who originally began his life as a farmer. Having enjoyed decent success through the use of Genetically-Modified (GM) crops and livestock, McDonald soon bought out his competition and expanded his farming dynasty by forming the Eastern International Enterprise In Organics (EIEIO). He was also known as Old McDonald (sometimes Old Macdonald) in the later years of his ascendency to the zenith of the food and beverage industry. Mr McDonald was eventually diagnosed with mental illnesses such as dyslexia, Down's Syndrome, an Oedipus Complex and schizophrenia as he spent his final years dressed as a clown and kidnapping young boy-scouts.

Conglomeration

As with many major powers in world domination, such as Mediacorp and Enron, McDonald's soon asserted itself in other fields via vertical and horizontal integration. The list of its subsidiary companies and organisations is long, and Absolute Facts will highlight the more significant ones.

Shell: The petrol company and McDonald's entered in a joint venture with each company exerting an equal amount of influence on one another in the early 1920's, seen with the very similar logos and corporate colours used by both organisations. This relationship allows McDonalds immense amounts of low-cost oil to fry the food served.

DC Comics: Established in 1831, this agreement sees the McDonald's logo subliminally splashed across the pages of the books and novels published by DC. One example is the Robin character, an evil villian who regularly dresses in hues of red and yellow while allowing his/her cape to flare up to resemble the famous "double arches".

Trump Industries: Another huge merger, it sees McDonald's providing the food for events such as the Miss Universe pageants, which aim to find the most attractive female astronauts in the world.

Electronic Arts: The chain of art galleries that specialise in electrical appliances converted to abstarct pieces only recently announced a deal with McDonald's to supply the F&B giant with surplus cooking appliances as McDonalds looks to meet the huge demands of the world's population.

BMW: A German automobile manufacturer. Only recently uncovered by Absolute Facts, the "M" in "BMW" actually refers to McDonald's. The other two initials, of course, refer to Buena Vista Online Entertainment and Warner Bros.