Pen Ink

The humble pen has existed in various forms and incarnations throughout the history of Man's writings. While feathered quills were quite obviously dipped in fountains of ink prior to usage, the enigma of how ink is placed within many modern pens leave many flabbergasted.

Absolute Facts, however, has uncovered the age-old mystery surrounding one of the Wonders of the Modern World.

According to one of our trusted sources, we have discovered that the secret to this process actually stems from an elaborate technique of extracting a certain biochemical susbatnce from the bodies of female gestating geckos found in many equatorial climates. Using a specialised, thin, metal apparatus or a paper clip, one who is specially trained may be able to withdraw trace amounts of this lizard goo as professionally referred to.

While only a small amount of lizard goo is ever extracted from even a large sample of geckos, this amount is sufficiently efficient to sustain the production of approximately 4.9 trillion pens when unrefined.

Refining (Modern)

The refining of lizard goo is a relatively recent advancement of modern science, with several multinational corporations engaging in public feuds and spats to overthrow each other as the dominant force in lizard goo refining.

The refining process itself invovles the use of powdered butterfly wings. The anti-matter-like properties of the butterfly wings allow the lizard goo to shift into the quatum phase, with several moles of ATP generated with a generic interval and exponential algorithm.

There is, however, the risk of collecting butterfly wings, briefly touched-upon in an earlier article.

Alternatively, moth wings can be used, though in that case the refining process can only take place at night.

Refining (Older)

Before the widely-accepted use of quantum mechanics in bathrooms and stationery, the use of such technology was outlawed by the Federation, and pen ink was refined by running unprocessed lizard goo through Play-Doh (or Play Dough) machines, increasing tensile strength and elsaticity while pertaining to the PPC curve.