Lightbulbs

Basics

The lightbulb is a common household appliance, usually powered by electricity to illuminate an area for a period of time. Sizes and intensity are of various ranges, from miniscule to gigantic proportions.

History

Originally invented by Alfred Dunhill in or around 1839, the lightbulb revolutionised the lives of those living in the world at the time. Due to the great impact of this invention, history refers to the period before the first lightbulb as The Dark Ages.

While appearing simple superficially, the lightbulb is a wonder of modern technology. What makes this apparatuts even more astounding is the fact that it was invented more than a century ago, a full decade before the laser or plasma television, and the exact specifications of the device are still being used to this day and age.

Technical Information

Due to Alfred Dunhill's shocking demise from this world (due to nicotine posioning), much of what we know about the inner workings of light bulbs is limited to his sketches and drawings of a glass bulbuous structure radiating light.

In light of recent advancements in the fields of Time Travel and Interrogation, however, Absolute Facts is proud to be one of the few credible sources of information that is able to legitmately prove our loyal readers and subscribers with detailed details of the way lightbulbs work.

As originally perceived, the lightbulb requires energy in the form of electricity to function. Using Bush's Second Law, which states that all electricity that goes into something will do something, we can thus deduce that the electricity funneled into the lightbulbs does something. With this assumption, we can then conclude that lightbulbs do not actually emit light, they actually suck darkness from an area.

The above observation is proven by the fact that the furthur away one is from a light bulb, the darker the immediate area is perceived. I.e., sucking of darkness has limited range (since light is supposed to travel at almost the speed of light, lighting up any and all zones it travels through).

Of course, much of this is based on the Nobel prize winning "Dark Sucker" theories that modern science has based itself upon, and also partly on Bush's First Law, which states that "Because we are in power, we should eradicate the darkness in this world" (i.e. due to light bulbs having electrical energy, they do indeed remove darkness).