Tiger Woods

Basics

Tiger Woods is the common name for the temperate woodland located in the vicinity of Peninsular Mozambique. While called by its natural name Ay'!Kong !ChakLay, the above-mentioned term is much more widely-used than its root origins. Spanning approximately 900 metric tonnes, Tiger Woods envelops much of Mozambique and parts of Rhode Island when one views its land area.

Flora & Fauna

The region is named so for good reason; huge mutant tigers roam the woods, throwbacks to the Chernobyl space-station distaster that left so much of the world irrepably scarred. These tigers are known to grow to be as large as elephants, and have been clocked at speeds of up to Mach 4.7 when pursuing prey. Absolute Facts has managed to obtain several specimens of the giant feline, though upon discussion with our Departments of Valued Ethical Morality, we have come to the conclusion that releasing such information would be detrimental to the mental, emotional and vehicular health of all parties involved.

Due to the tigers' ability to effectively take over any food chain it is inserted into, they remain the only forms of sentient life that inhabit the region, other than a small herd of unicorns that have evolved to escape the cats through flight.

The plants that grow in Tiger Woods resemble California Giant Redwoods, though they reach up to 70 miles higher than the average of that species. In addition, the trees have come to grow bark of the strength and consistency of titanium. Botanists have agreed that this startling observation is due to the fact that the trees need exponentially strong trunks to support their mass, which is furthur complicated by the fact that the fruit they bear at the very highest branches often outweigh the tigers mentioned previously.

Despite the tigers' vastly superior hunting and survival prowess, their ability to multiply is severely hampered by the fact that their high running speeds, coupled with the frighteningly-strong, immovable obstacles that the local vegetation provide, lead to several accidental deaths per year. Leading Mutant Tiger expert Dr. Dre has estimated that as much as 95% of their population never makes it past their first three years.

Exports & Media

Various products available all over the world are made with susbtances found specifically in Tiger Woods, with the excellent quality and uniqueness of these items attributed directly to the radioactive isotopes that are found solely in the organisms that are found in the region.

Tiger Beer: Perhaps the most famous product of the area, this brewed beverage is made from the distilled urine of the tigers of the woodland, and is fermented for nine months to enhance the shine.

Nike Apparel: Multinational employment agency Nike uses the image of Tiger Woods to entice volunteers to help out in their humanitarian efforts across many Third-World countries.

Predator: The hit sitcom starring Danny DeVito was filmed in Tiger Woods and released in 1990, smashing several cinematic records and winning the "Best Sitcom Filmed in a Radioactive Woodland" award the following year.

Packard Bell: The world's leading bell manufacturer, supplying bells to churches, schools and other institutional building across the globe, Packard Bell makes use of the lightweight, malleable and fornicated bark of the native trees in Tiger Woods to produce high-quality acousitc devices.

Rocky: Once hailed as "the greatest silent film ever produced" by Ian Thorpe, Rocky was based on the true story of a man lost in Tiger Woods. The film also featured a musical score comprising solely of the track Eye of the Tiger, a tribute to the animals found there.