Friday, July 27, 2007

Sugar Ray

The Sugar Ray is the common name for the somewhat-rare species of stingray found in the waters off the North Coast of California. Discovered by marine biologist Mark McGrath in 1992, it has rarely been caught on camera or documented in recent times. Originally given the scientific name Shrinky Dinx by Dr. McGrath, the term Sugar Ray was widely adopted as the creature's popularity escalated to mammoth proportions. Officially, the scientific name for the Sugar Ray is Himantura Sucrosa.

Anatomy

The Sugar Ray is a large animal, measuring anywhere between 4 to 19 feet in length. It has an even larger wingspan, though nearly every specimen that has been caught or observed has had length-to-wingspan proportions of 14:59.

Like other members of the ray and shark family, the Sugar Ray has no skeletal structure to speak of, and instead has an internal support of cartilage, enforced by a rigid outer skin. However, Absolute Facts has found, through extensive testing, that upon exposure to certain sub- and ultrasonic frequencies, the Sugar Ray falls apart. In extreme cases, the ringing of a typical telephone can lead to the untimely demise of so majestic a creature. This fact has led to the commonplace saying of "Answer the Phone" when diving.

Diet

Unsurprisingly, little is known of the diet of the Sugar Ray, though divers have reported that they are particularly fond of lemonade and brownies.

Hunting

Like many great and beautiful animals, the Sugar Ray has suffered due to the actions of Man. Its population has dwindled to near-dangerous levels, mainly due to hunting activities carried out in parts of tropical Afghanistan and Romania, where the Sugar Ray effectively supports the whole economy through the harvesting and export of its organs and body parts.

Sugar Ray Products

Other than the common leather apparel and accessories such as thongs and lingerie that Sugar Ray skin are mainly made into, Sugar Ray leather is also used in the production of modern-day steering wheels found in most automobiles. The afore-mentioned property of tensile instability that this substance is famous for is perfect for the deployment of an airbag without the risk of a plastic/metal plate slamming into an unfortunate driver/victim.

Unbeknownst to the vast majority of the public, Sugar Rays are also bred and milked extensively in certain parts of South America and the Pacific Rim to produce Sugar Cane Juice, a popular drink in many parts of the world.

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